Thursday, April 11, 2019

What I'm Doing Now



Right now I'm piecing together this landscape, painting with gouache and acrylics on tinted paper. It's been so long since I've done a landscape! I've been trying hard this year to experiment with new techniques, to get out of my comfort zone. So, falling back on something predictable like buildings, and clouds feels really nice. Relaxing.

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I've been reading alot!


Fantasy and speculative fiction. Recently: Banner Of The Damned, The Wayward Children series, and Mem. The first two have asexual characters which was a really nice change of perspective and Mem has a Black Mirror vibe to it. I recommend all of them :)

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I've also been looking at the uncertainty in my life...


I get this felling that it's part of the modern mindset that uncertainty just evaporates, or should, as we get older and more established. So, people take quite alot of refuge in structure and routine but hate how it boxes them in. I look at the older and younger people that I admire. It actually seems as though uncertainty hasn't gone away for them, they've only become comfortable with the feeling of the unknown. 

I look at this mostly because it's a constant theme for me as an artist (and as a writer). As I create my own schedule daily and learn about what time really looks like, it reminds me of water. Or flames.

Thinking on it, the only time that it's come natural to create regularly is when I've challenged myself to paint daily for a month. It doesn't matter what I'm painting then, just the fact that I finish a painting a day becomes exciting and therapeutic. After one of these challenges, I clearly remember thinking, Okay, if I stop creating daily I'll just go back to procrastinating. I need to keep this up.

Then the thoughts came.

My procrastination is usually made up of thoughts concerning the whole. Is this body of work meaningful, am I headed in the right direction? I think. Fear.
Still, I look back on the work that I produced during those month-long challenges; I created daily without any prompts and the work still surprises me. Where did this idea come from? And this and this and this?

Also, I meditate daily. Sometimes it helps to sit for an hour, sometimes just five minutes. The question is do I go with that flow or do I set that rule of structure and schedule an hour a day regardless of how I feel? Hey, structure is nice! I like math, organization, lists, logic, and deadlines. However, when does it need to be balanced with airy, graceful spontaneity? There is no definite rule and the more I come back to this question the more the realization blurs then focuses.

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Sorry, the shop has been closed for a while now. I'm still looking at options for print-on-demand. Right now I have quite alot of greeting cards and prints in supply; I'm waiting for warmer months when I will (hopefully) get out to some Art Walks and vend.

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I've changed the blog theme a few times- what looks good on desktop doesn't look great on a phone. Will keep looking for a nice clean theme that fits both.

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So I'm painting, watching the snow melt, going on walks and becoming comfortable with uncertainty. I'm an unexciting person, what can I say :)?

Thanks for stopping by~